The Day of the Doctor - Wonderful Fanservice or Massive Letdown?

Before this thing even aired I knew I had to avoid other people's reactions to it because they would almost certainly make me hate my life. If Doctor freaking Who has ever made you cry, then you're a bitch, I ran this hypothesis past a panel of experts on little bitches and it's actually like a fact now so don't even bother trying to refute it. 

Now that the endearing opening paragraph is out of the way let's get into The Day of the Doctor, the 50th Anniversary special starring two legitimate Doctors, one they made up and a couple of MILFs. Any work of fiction that gets into "crossover" territory is going to be a bit messy, even if it is crossing over with itself; it's also particularly guaranteed to be dripping in fan service so we have to give it a bit of leeway. Really, the question here is was the special strong enough to stand up on its own merits, and whether it actually benefited the future of the show or just wallowed in its own glory days.

Having said that, let's break the special down into its good and its bad points, and then see if we can get a nice wrapped up analysis of it by the end of this thing. So let's take a good hard look at The Day of my Doctors Wedding.

THE GOOD

The Timelords are Back! (maybe)

It's debatable how good a job he's been doing, but Steven Moffat has slowly but surely been retconning all the dumb changes that were made to the franchise during the T. Davies return era. Now he's finally got to the big one, and we can finally move on from the freaking Time War...

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand why they added this to the show during the reboot. New audiences may have been put off with having to accept there being a whole planet of time travelling weirdos as opposed to one cool guy, it also gave the show a little more edge as the Doctor was now a much angrier character who didn't have anyone's rules but his own to follow and it also made him a bit more special. The third part is the one that got out of hand...and now the Doctor has become the centre of the entire universe and it seems nothing can happen anymore without him or one of his companions being central to its event somehow. The Doctor is a great character okay, but he's not more interesting than the entirety of space and time and the majority of New Who issues can be linked to this nonsensical fanfictionesque writing. 

The point is; bringing the Timelords back and perhaps retconning some of the other consequences of the Time War might actually give the show some context again. The Doctor was interesting when there were Timelords because he didn't care about THEIR RULES MAN, in the new series he's basically just God and can do whatever he wants...I mean the universe can apparently just get rebooted whenever he screws things up too much so whatever. The future of Doctor Who now has the opportunity to have some direction and not get constantly lost in self-fulfilling prophecies. 

Some will (and have) complain about how it was done or how it's a cop out, and my response is basically that it wasn't as stupid as the story T. Davies came up with in the first place. The Time War was wrecking all of creation...and the Doctor blew up Gallifrey...somehow...which also somehow killed all the Daleks...everywhere...although not really because they totally survived so it was pointless...but the Doctor seems pretty capable of handling millions of Daleks in other stories...by myself...and by my count there's been three Dalek genocides since the show came back so...yea it's a dumb story okay. And Doctor Who lore is better off without it frankly.

Regarding the Timelords themselves, Doctor Who seems to have the same problem with them that Superman has with Kryptonians, in that we're constantly told about how sophisticated and cool they were and how sad it is that they're all dead, but whenever they actually show up they're a bunch of stupid assholes. If you are planning to bring the Timelords back properly Moffat...get to work on that...

Zygons were Surprisingly Hype

I'll be honest; I rolled my eyes when I heard the Zygons were the choice of enemy for the 50th anniversary. I suspected it was another case of a monster being brought back for no other reason than Moffat and Gatiss had a little squirt over them when they were 10 years old (or 40). But they were genuinely a good villain in this, their design gets that nice blend of kind of creepy but mostly silly that Doctor Who goes for, the alien jizz that they trap their subjects in was creepy, and shape shifters that the Doctor can't immediately recognise could make for some interesting stories...mostly because they're not really the type of enemy (unlike Cybermen or Daleks) where "blow them all up" is a reasonable story conclusion. Also their voices are awesome, enough to make otherwise okay lines like the following really memorable:

"We are not armed, you may relax."

"Weeeee areee armeed, youuu mayy nottt."

John Hurt was cool

Well obviously, this was the big selling point for a lot of people. I was concerning he would just a miserable old guy and basically an entirely different character, but he was given just enough personality to be the Doctor...yet a more jaded and tired Doctor. Moffat did a good job overall of writing the three Doctors with their distinct personalities and all three actors gave good performances, and I say that being in the minority of people who don't really care for the tenth Doctor.

Actually INTERESTING Ideas...

Following on from the "not blowing everything up" thing, this episode has some actual nice concepts at work. I liked the solution to the Zygon invasion the most, "the key to a perfect negotiation is not remembering what side you're on" that's actually INTERESTING, one of the handful times New Who has actually casually dabbled in a bit of basic philosophy. I wish they explored that more than they did, but it was interesting, there was actually a storyline reason for why it was possible and it was actually clever on both the Doctors and the writer’s part. Although it does lose some marks for the slow mo as they came out the painting, THAT was ridiculous. 

I also liked the idea of "Timelord Art", not only is it a clever little tool for the story (although, was it ever explained how the Zygons got a hold of it? I watched it twice and I don't recall there being an all-round convincing explanation) it was also a clever way to get the 3D shots in. I didn't actually watch it in 3D I'm not mad but when Moffat was saying in interviews that he had worked 3D into it I was expecting Matt Smith to be throwing Fez's directly into the camera or David Tennant just getting his dick out...although on reflection these thoughts may have actually been unrelated. 

Billie Piper wasn't Rose

I was terrified when Billie Piper was announced for this, her pseudo-boning thing with David Tennant is basically what attracted all the weirdos and annoying girls to become a more vocal part of the fanbase and made Tumblr unviewable to rational human beings. Fortunately, they kept all that out of it and decided to go for "Bad Wolf Rose", I'm not sure if that was actually a part of the plot though. Like, could "the device" open holes in time anyway or was it channelling Bad Wolf Rose to do that...both are stupid but the second one feels less pulled out of your arse Moffat so you should have made that a bit clearer.

Also, unlike Journey's End Billie Piper actually seemed to be trying this time. Thanks Billie! 

Fanservice!

Let's get this out of the way, I detest pointless fan service, and I hate how it's basically infected all of pop culture now. Video game designers intentionally put archaic garbage mechanics in their titles for the sake of "nostalgia", writers take over the scripts of their own favourite franchises and rewrite the entire universe around their favourite characters (*heugh* Moffat) and everyone wants to reboot everything. I went into The Day the Doctor Ate Everyone expecting it to have unbearable amounts of fan wank in it, but it was actually fairly restrained...and funny controversially. 

Don't get me wrong, in-jokes and call-backs and "big ups" to past Doctors were all over the place but not in a way that got in a way of the plot. Personal favourites go to "Confusing the polarity" "the round things" and Peter Capaldis cameo, which I think was probably the best one second tease for anything ever. Of course, not all the fanservice was great...more on that later...

It had to follow Series 7...

...so in that context Moffat could have got away with showing Manos: The Hands of Fate with a few Doctors faces edited into it and it probably would have been cool by comparison. In all seriousness, even with its flaws, it was actually nice to be enjoying Doctor Who in some capacity again...

THE BAD

Christopher Eccleston is a big dumb jerk and I hate him

See above.

It didn't really feel -that- special

Under past circumstances it certainly would have been, but this goes back to the Doctor seeing the centre of his own universe. If the Doctor was still a mysterious character who we rarely learned anything about having a big anniversary special focused entirely on him would be a huge deal. But New Who can't stop obsessing over him anyway so in many ways this entire episode was business as usual. Also, it really hasn't been that long since David Tennant left the show, maybe I just don't care because I'm not a huge fan, but it really hasn't been long enough for me to miss him. Also see above.

Queen Elizabeth I Fanfiction

Okay, so we did get some weird and terrible fanservice in this episode...for Elizabeth I fanboys. Seems a weird demographic to go for, it hasn't been the 16th century for at least 100 years and the last remaining survivor Jimmy Savile died two years ago. Literally everything Queen Liz does and says in this episode is ridiculous, just ludicrous. Every line, action or reaction to something has its own little plot hole attached to it. I know its Doctor Who and everything, but were we seriously supposed to believe that QUEEN ELIZABETH stabbed up a Zygon, snuck into their ranks, found out their plans, deceived them all into believing she was the commander, had no questions and didn't freak out, saved the Doctors, and figured out all the stuff with the paintings and ugh...it's all a mess. Watch it again and remember that the Queen Liz you see after one has been "disposed of" is always the real one and see how little sense it makes.

Clara Oswald is Low Tier Garbage...but the show won't admit it...

GOD DAMN IT MOFFAT, will you please just admit you failed here and stop shoving this character down our throats. There's nothing awful about Clara...but that's the point, she's bland and utterly uninteresting. She's just a generic "nice and smart gal", but every story seems to desperately force how smart/capable she is by putting her in extreme situations that only further reveal how dull she is. The fact that Clara was basically responsible for changing the Doctors mind and fixed everything is nuts, I liked my idea of leaving her floating around on a trash heap in space way more. 

The Final Shot

Just...fire everyone who was responsible for that. It looked awful on my laptop, it looked awful on my plasma TV and I can only tremble in fear at how awful it must have looked on a 3D cinema screen. 

The thing that confused me the most was all the Doctors were in a line but William Hartnell was in the middle behind everyone else for some reason. Was that supposed to make him stand out because he was like the first one or something? It just made him look left out to me like the fat kid at school, like Matt Smith was refereeing a 5-a-side football match between the other 10 doctors and no-one picked Hartnell for their team cos he's old and stuff. Don't worry, I'm sure Christopher Eccleston will storm off the pitch before half time and not come back so he'll get subbed in. 

Also, on the BBC broadcast they let the announcers jabber all over the credits, THAT, WAS UNACCEPTABLE.

How do the Daleks get wiped out again?

Umm...yea, this was one of the more glossed over plot points, but let's go over it again. So, the Doctors, all of them (somehow, even William Hartnell knew to work on the calculations too, I guess he had plenty of time to work on the substitution bench) freeze Gallifrey in a pocket of time in another universe or whatever it was. The Daleks meanwhile, are stuck in the SKY TRENCHES, what's a sky trench? No, that's not rhetorical I'm actually asking you because I don't know either, is there such thing as "Sky trench foot?" Are sky trenches actually in the sky or is "space trench" more accurate? If they are sky trenches then wouldn't they be part of the planet’s atmosphere and the Daleks get frozen in time along with everyone else? What about the Daleks already on the ground, seen utterly failing to murder civilians like good Daleks should? Do these Daleks just factor into the "calculations" or what? WAIT, in that preview thing you released on the BBC website that looked like the tutorial to a Sega CD game you said the Daleks got through the sky trenches! WHAT'S A SKY TRENCH, THIS DESERVED EXPLANATION.

Anyway, while they're all in the SKY TRENCHES the planet disappears, and the Daleks all blow each other up in their own crossfire. This plan kind of relies on a lot of luck and stupidity on the most genius evil creatures in the universe doesn't it? But let's say it DOES work, how does that wipe out ALL the Daleks again? There's a line slightly before this that the Daleks would send "reinforcements" if they knew there was three Doctors, so there ARE more Daleks not attacking Gallifrey, so by the episodes own confession this plan can't possibly work. But in fairness, this is a far more reasonable explanation for how Daleks survived the Time War than the shite T Davies came up with. Zombie human Daleks, do not blaspheme yadaydaydaydayda...

But yea, this is a pretty huge oversight in the script and it is hard to ignore, I guess the shows attitude is it doesn't really matter since we all know the Daleks weren't ever actually wiped out and the important part is that people think they were wiped out. 

Why can't the Doctor recognise himself?

This is a minor nitpick, but why is this always an issue in these multiple Doctor things? It's long established that Timelords still recognise each other regardless of regenerations, but they can't tell when they've ran into themselves? It's not really important, but it's just silly...especially when it comes to...

Tom Bakers cameo was too much

Who was this guy? It's heavily implied that it's the Doctor from the distant future, but it's nicer to think that it isn't because then we're trapped in another self-fulfilling prophecy...

It was awesome that Tom Baker had a cameo, but this was a bit overbearing, but I will give it a pass as this is more for a veteran Who fan than me. You're still a bitch if you cried though.

The Doctors get along too well

Another minor point but the episode was far too chummy, especially when it was supposed to be the "Doctor darkest day". They had a bit of bickering about plot stuff but there wasn't really a clash of personalities here, it was just Tennant and Smith bantering with each other and exchanging one liners. It's fine if they come together by the end of the episode, but the Doctors shouldn't really be friends during these things, maybe the fangirls drench their seats seeing them buddy up but I think the episode would have been more entertaining if they were at their throats. 

THE CONCLUSION

All things considered, this episode was dealt a bad hand from the start. The Time War is an inherently stupid plot point that's been cemented in New Who lore from the outset, and it was always going to be a near impossible corner to write out of. Considering that T. Davies basically made it impossible...this was probably as cool and as logical a way to do it that wouldn't also destroy the canon. You do have to suspend your disbelief on a lot of things, the existence of the weapon and its ability to open time windows even through a "time lock" is pulled out of the story's arse, as is the Doctors meeting up in the first place, and the whole stupidity with the Daleks etc. Maybe these things are breaking points for some people, but as someone who believes the things this episode pulled were for the good of the franchise, I'm willing to let a lot of it go.

Overall, the episode has some great lines, good performances, a cool villain, genuinely interesting ideas and even though its logic is nonsense is it quite skillful in how it wraps itself together...and it was actually funny in a way that didn't seem inappropriate or stupid (The Crimson Horror). I'd say the special had more good than bad, and most of the bad things were done with good intentions even if they fell a little short. 

The main praise I can give The Day of the Doctors Budget Cuts is that even if this feeling is short lived...I actually kind of care about Doctor Who again. Now I have hope, which is exactly what I didn't have.