Sunday, 15 February 2015

WWE Network Vault - Fatal Four Way 2010


























WWE don't really know what to do with the June Pay-Per-View any more. After retiring The Great American Bash in 2008, possibly due to the "American" part shaking off some international buys or putting a last set of boots to the corpse of WCW, the Summer schedule has been flipped and flopped around. In 2009 it was "The Bash" but that didn't stick due to the name sounding more like a special night at the local dogging site than a wrestling show. Since then it's been "Payback" "Capitol Punishment" "No Way Out" and most notorious of all "Fatal Four Way".


Despite still (for some reason) being a regular viewer I didn't bother to watch Fatal Four Way at the time so I've never seen it before. 2010 sucked, the roster was thinner than the anti-vaccine arguments and problems in development meant the new guys coming up weren't of much interest either. I hated the gimmick Pay-Per-View schedule and the concept of a "Fatal Four Way" themed show was by far the worst offender. I wonder if "Six Man Tag" was ever in the run-in for a gimmick Pay-Per-View, hell these days you could rename Raw "Six Man Tag" so probably not the best plan.  

I think I have an inane interest in the art of wrestling that will never be fully destroyed, but 2010 is as close as I have ever come to packing the entire thing in. WWE was so stale and uneventful you could probably watch all the episodes from this year in a random order and not notice any difference, Bischoff and Hogan came into TNA and killed any interest I had in that promotion, and Ring or Honor looked hopeful but this is when they started having all their technical issues and no-one wanted to risk giving them money for their shows. 

WWE would outsuck themselves later on, but Fatal Four Way received 143,000 PPV buys which was the second lowest in the company's history at the time (only topped by the hilariously bad ECW December to Dismember in 2006). 

SO HERE WE GO, let's watch one of the most forgotten Pay-Per-Views of all time from one of the worst years of wrestling in recent memory!

*the show begins*

Good news: This show is barely 2 and a half hours long! 

Bad news: The opening package is one of the worst I've ever seen. It's always a warning sign on a Pay-Per-View when the package isn't focused on any specific feud and instead splits attention across the entire card in a last minute attempt to communicate "NO REALLY, this'll be good we swear!!" Also dribbles on about how everyone in a Fatal Four Way match has a "25% chance of winning!" implying the multiple championship matches tonight are basically electronic poker machines and not legitimate contests of any kind. The package also claims that "25% is the lowest odds a champion could possibly face of retaining" seemingly forgetting that other gimmick PPV that they had earlier in the year called ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Just to further note how padded this show is going to be, it starts with a Vince announcement about how RAW GENERAL MANAGER BRET HART (I completely forgot about that!) won't be appearing on this show due to being murdered in the back of a limo by the Nexus (and that). In what won't be the last time, the crowd chants "Daniel Bryan" at Vince who had been temporarily let go at the time due to choking Justin Roberts with his own tie during the initial Nexus attack which upset the advertisers. At the time it was completely unthinkable that a mere four years later Daniel Bryan would be being all of Evolution by himself to become the WWE Champion.

Speaking of things I'd entirely forgotten about, Drew McIntyre shows up and shakes Vince's hand because he was the "chosen one" at the time. Knowing what would become of him later it's weird to see Drew beasting on people, getting segments with Vince and Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long and getting mic time. Someone backstage clearly thought he was going to be something.

Match 1 - INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP - Drew McIntyre Vs Kofi Kingston

My Kofi Kingston timelines are off so I don't know which one of his 7 billion meaningless Intercontinental title reigns this was, when he won it how or why. I assume it from McIntyre, but on that front I don't know Theodore Long (who again is the General Manager of Smackdown) is being forced to sit at ringside and watch Drew's match while getting abused by him. The funny thing about this era of WWE is I know I watched this crap at the time, I know the answers to all these queries are in there somewhere but my brain has refused to retain or process any of it. 

It's a recent opening match, Drew's dull as dishwasher but that only serves to make Kofi's offence come off as more exciting. It's hard to judge now because Kofi's been doing the same thing in the same spot for so long all his matches bleed together, but he was probably genuinely exciting to watch back in 2010. Highlight of the match is probably Matt Striker (on commentary, another thing I forgot about was Cole and Lawler being forced to work with him on Pay-Per-Views and hating it) spouting some of his "facts" about the Intercontinental Championship followed by an awkward silence as Vince is probably yelling in his ear to STFU.

McIntyre hits his finishing DDT on Kofi but doesn't get the pinfall due to him accidentally knocking the referee out before. McIntyre then rips off the referee's shirt (HAWT) and makes Teddy Long wear it, apparently because all the authority of a referee is embodied within the shirt. It works like dress spheres from Final Fantasy X-2 I guess. Teddy goes to count Kingston down but refuses to hit 3, so I suppose Kofi sucks so much he can't kick out of a DDT even with 2 minutes to recover. McIntyre gets in Teddy's face and goes for another DDT, but Matt Hardy runs in and hits a Twist of Fate to an "impressive for 2010" pop and Kofi gets the win. 

Backstage The Hart Dynasty are interviewed about their uncle Bret getting murdered in the back of a limo. You'd think the WWE would have been able to take the association with Bret and make something of this team but that would have been a lot of work.

Match 2 - DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP - Maryse Vs Gail Kim Vs Alicia Fox Vs Eve

JESUS CHRIST, thanks god Gail Kim's in this or I would have committed seppeku by the time the entrances were over. When you've got a brand new Pay-Per-View based around Fatal Four Way matches best to lead with your strong foot forward and get the Divas in there ASAP.

Gail Kim gets thrown out of the ring early on, and watching the others try to wrestle without her is like watching a breakdancing lesson on a frozen lake. Alicia Fox wins the Divas Champion after Eve hits a moonsault on Maryse and gets thrown out of the ring.

Highlight of the match: more Daniel Bryan chants. 

Backstage Big Show and Rey Mysterio talk about their upcoming Fatal Four Way match and WOAH, Big Show holds his clenched fist out and it's nearly as big as Rey's head!

Match 3 - Chris Jericho Vs Evan Bourne

YES, something to breathe some life into this show. Jericho was floundering a little bit with WWE panicking and moving almost ALL of the big stars onto Raw in the draft, which led to an angle of Jericho "losing his flare" as he struggled to win matches, I don't remember much coming out of it though other than him getting eliminated from a WWE Championship Six Pack Challenge match almost instantly. At the time I thought they were leading to him turning face, but it seems they were just winding him down before he left in September. Jericho gets on the microphone and claims he's the only reason people still watch the show, which gets a huge pop because it was pretty much true. 

This is a weird match to watch now, Evan Bourne was starting to get a little thunder behind him at the time but due to various circumstances nothing came of it (a running theme of WWE 2010). Still this crowd is mostly behind Jericho with the occasional wave of support for Bourne. It's also the best match on the show (unless there's a hidden sleeper later on) due Jericho and Bourne being a decent match for each other and Jericho busting out some moves he hadn't done in years. 

If I remember correctly this match hadn't actually been pre-announced for the show. WWE had a horrible habit in 2010 of not announcing other half their Pay-Per-View cards until the weekend of show (or sometimes just not announce them at all). Maybe this was due to last minute plans changing, I think it was probably due to the roster being so thin there was nothing else worth announcing. Still, you can't seriously expect people to pay £15/$45 for a Pay-Per-View with only 2 or 3 gimmicky matches announced, this attitude combined with these crap new show concepts killed what was left of the buyrates. 

Bourne misses a shooting star press but LANDS ON HIS FEET, then Jericho hits a Codebreaker but fails to get the 3 off it which leads to Jericho getting mad. Bourne hits a guillotine DDT and gets Jericho on the mat again, they then tease the Shooting Star Press twice more and Bourne finally hits it and pins Jericho clean off it. People went nuts for this at the time, maybe in an ideal world we would be looking back on it as a huge moment in an upcoming stars career (like Miz Vs Bryan at Night of Champions) but instead it's just a decent match on a forgotten show. It's worth watching but it's not the classic some people make it out to be.

After the match they air a promo for the "Greatest Pay-Per-View Matches 2009-2010" DVD. I haven't seen it but it must have just included the Michaels Vs Taker Wrestlemania matches and a montage of entrances.

Match 4 - WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP - Big Show Vs Rey Mysterio Vs Jack Swagger Vs CM Punk

You know this match is based on an intense emotional rivalry that the audience is invested in when the pre-match promo is 100% dedicated to Kane trying to find out who attacked the Undertaker and he's not even in it. It's one of those things that murder your suspension of disbelief if you think about it whatsoever, it's just completely illogical that anyone would commission or go along with such a thing. You may as well have announce the fact there's going to be interference in the match.

Lots of things to note here, first CM Punk is masked to hide his shaven head after losing a hair vs mask match against Mysterio the month before. He also still has the Straight-Edge Society with him, the absolute best thing in the company at the time that was broken up and killed less than a year after creation for no reason. Big Show was face, and this face run actually stuck for a little while this time. Lastly and most hilariously at all, Jack Swagger is the World Heavyweight Champion. It really is an embarrassing sight to see him with that classic belt design, he looks so out of place and he almost drops the title when holding it up to the other guys.

I stand by this to this day, the second Jack Swagger cashed in Money in the Back and won that championship for god knows what reason the title NEVER recovered. They took it from Edge and Jericho and gave their feud no conclusion, and the second Swagger was walking around with it all credibility was sucked from it and they never managed to get it back. This was another frustrating trope of the time, WWE were desperate for new stars and their solution was to just put championships on them and hope for the best. Titles don't make guys, you don't become credible feuding with main event guys just because you're walking about with a belt on your shoulder and the Money in the Bank briefcase can jump off all the metaphorical cliffs it can as far as making new stars is concerned. 

After a decent but underwhelming (mostly due to complete lack of heat between the guys in the match) match Kane's music hits and attacks CM Punk. Luke Gallows saves him but they run out of the arena together. Then after that Rey just wins. Had nothing to do with Kane at all really, Rey hits the 619 on Jack Swagger and he wins. There you go. Not counting the time Rey won a WWE Championship tournament and lost it later the same night this would be his last major title reign.

The lack of any real angle to it made this match hard to care about, but THANK GOD they used it to get the title off Swagger.

WWE Champion John Cena is interviewed about his upcoming Fatal Four Way match, and claims if the Nexus interferes in the match all four participants will stand united against them.

Match 5 - UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP - The Miz Vs R-Truth

The Miz comes out with a microphone and raps about himself to Truth's music. Look, I don't hate The Miz, I think when he's used as a douchey midcard guy (like he is right now) he can be fantastic, but who seriously thought this guy could main event Wrestlemania? The announcers make fun of Miz for not improvising his rap even though Truth has done the exact same rap coming to the ring for years. 

The crowd seems to be into Miz before the bell rings but that excitement dies pretty soon after the match gets started. Neither of these guys are exactly Ricky Steamboat, but they're decent workers yet this match is MISERABLY awful. I don't know if these guys knew they were filler and didn't care, or things just didn't click on his night or if Miz was really just this bad in 2010. 

I know this show is seriously under time and this match especially feels overstretched for what it is. Miz works on Truth's ribs for what feels like forever in various submission holds, Truth's comeback gets zero reaction and the crowd begins to boo when the guys kick out of big moves. As Jim Cornette would say, this match was so bad it started to hurt the fans' feelings. 

Miz FINALLY wins from some kind of victory roll and the crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief. The fact Miz was the one who got to main event Wrestlemania says a lot how the success of all the other "new star" projects WWE had going on at the time.

Edge is interviewed about the Fatal Four Way match coming up and...oh I miss him.

Match 6 - The Hart Dynasty Vs The Usos and Tamina

Woah, The Usos early career was so uneventful I didn't even realise they were signed in 2010 let alone on the active roster. Apparently this was their second match on television (Michael Cole claims they got an IMPRESSIVE WIN over the legendary tag team of Goldust and Mark Henry) and man they do not look like stars yet. 

None of the charisma or energy that would define the Usos as the best tag team in the company years later is present as Jimmy and Jey are placed in a generic "we're better than you" heel mode. It's a decent match but the tag team division in WWE was ABSOLUTELY dead at the time (yet another reason 2010 sucked) and the transition of main event guys holding the belts in 2009 back to "real" tag teams didn't go smoothly. 

It's an okay tag match but both teams are about as over as crotch rot and the crowd couldn't care less (yet another theme of 2010). After another "too long for its own good" contest filled with more Daniel Bryan chants things break down and leave Natalya and Tamina in the ring. Natalya avoids a splash off the top before it even happens and Tamina decides her ribs and the canvas would probably get along and does it anyway. Natalya gets the win for her team.

Match 7 - WWE CHAMPIONSHIP - Edge Vs John Cena Vs Randy Orton Vs Sheamus

The pre-match promo video for this one is a thousand times better the World Heavyweight Championship one because it paints Cena's challenger as hungry and dangerous challengers who WANT THE TITLE. They didn't just edit together a package of Goldust stalking the Divas or something. Although I will point out I am enough of a jerk to notice the production team did just staple a bunch of generic already made promos together for this one. Well everything else about 2010 Pay-Per-Views is half-assed so may as well complete the set.

We've already talked about Swagger, now let's get to the OTHER ONE. WWE thought they could get Sheamus over as a heel by shocking people by having him go over on Cena in a title match (Cena jumped through a table and that counted as a win because it was a table match). Needless to say, having Sheamus running around as champion while refusing to actually let him go over on any of the established stars didn't do much for his credibility. Probably one of the reasons they hit the panic button on Swagger and got the title off him is they knew Sheamus was going over and didn't want to have TWO loser risky champions on top. 

18 year old grumpy me was screaming left and right on the internet to anyone who would listen that what they were doing with these new guys was garbage and would never work and was hurting the product. Now 22 year old me gets the look back on it and smirk about how right I was. They've tried to smash Sheamus over as a heel AND a face champion and both failed, Del Rio is fired, McIntyre is gone, Swagger is low midcard, Wade Barrett is finally moving up but had be repackaged to do so, Miz is back to the middle as well and the World title never did recover and is now also gone. So good work 18 year old me! You probably need to get smacked around a few times but you're a good kid at heart.

Anyway, the match starts with Orton and Cena throwing Edge and Sheamus out to the floor, then Orton and Cena (both faces at the time) stand there and look at each other while playing to the crowd. The announcers try to put over what a huge deal this is and Michael Cole even busts out the GOOSEBUMPS line. The crowd really doesn't care that much, WWE have been trying for years to put over Cena Vs Orton like its Austin Vs Rock or Michaels Vs Bret and it's just never stuck. 

Matt Striker refers to Edge's spear as the most impactful move in the WWE for the laugh-out-loud moments of the ring.

The match itself is what you expect from WWE multiple man match, bland one-man-out one-man-in stuff which allows everyone a chance to do their trademark spots, and occasionally you get a spot with 3 or 4 dudes but it's mostly just a rotating one-on-one match. For seemingly no reason whatsoever they keep cutting away to some jobbers watching the match, essentially advertising the fact they're going to get attacked by the Nexus sooner or later...and then do. The Nexus come out, the announcers bail, they attack some random dudes and stuff explodes for no reason just to make it look as fake as possible. Sheamus pins Cena in the chaos and the attack continues just to make this title win as forgettable as possible.

The Nexus destroy Cena, and the whole thing plays off as a lighter, even faker looking rehash of their initial debut on Raw. The angle had a lot of potential but the writers didn't know what to do with it other than having them beat up Cena every now and then while simultaneously doing nothing to get the guys over as individuals. So eventually they had no choice but to have Cena get together a team to beat them. 

The show fades to black over more "Daniel Bryan" chants, symbolic of one of the few things that would save us from this god awful product.

FINAL THOUGHTS

In terms of match quality it puts the last show I watched (Survivor Series 1999) to shame, but still there's very little meat to this show. I'm actually relieved this is one of the worst performing Pay-Per-Views in history because it serves as evidence for the argument that Fatal Four Way main events are balls. They can be good exhibition matches if promoted right! But calling a show "Fatal Four Way" and doing three of them for no other reason than you're obligated to isn't promoting it right!

The entire show feels dry as a result of this; not only do both main event matches feel like soulless slot fillers being put on for the sake of it, the finish-deciding interference in both of them was essentially pre-announced making the actual matches themselves feel like obligations going through the motions. Say what you want, but when one of the most forgotten Pay-Per-View events in history has TWO World title changes on it you know something hasn't quite clicked.

2010 Pay-Per-Views in general felt extremely padded, almost all of them were 2 match shows with the undercard thrown in usually on the day of the event and announced on WWE.com just to fill time, and I think Fatal Four Way is one of the worst offenders of that. It's barely 2 and a half hours long, it takes 10 minutes before even the first match gets started. Then there's lengthy win celebrations, four entrances for both main events, long promos and all sorts of non-important interviews scattered throughout it. Not to mention some matches still go on too long for what they are. The entire presentation really starts to drag, so at least it feels like a 3 hour show even though it's not even close.

Jericho Vs Bourne is a good match but good is all I can vouch for to be honest, I think if that match had taken place at any time outside of a filler match on a filler show in WWE 2010 it wouldn't be remembered at all. It is a good match though and one that only happened a couple of times so it's well worth watching...on Youtube though, don't bother watching the entire show for it for god's sake. 

I'm not that angry at this show, mostly due to it being too uninteresting to really warrant any kind of emotions. But it's forgotten for very good reasons...that eh...well nothing worth remembering happened on it...duh. If it wasn't for the Nexus angle it would particularly feel like a non-canon televised house show.

So yea, not a show worth diving into the vault for...

WWE Fatal Four Way 2010 gets 2 GRADUATION KANES OUT OF 5




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