Well, as of today I have joined the world's most discriminated against minority...people who paid money to own a Nintendo Wii U. I don't even know how to defend the decision; there was a price drop at around the time I got a bunch of money, the Mario Kart 8 free game deal was pretty sweet and there's literally nothing I would play on a PlayStation 4 or an Xbone, so I TOOK THE PLUNGE. Now that I've owned a Wii U for a few hours, I want to write a thing about how it's pretty cool but Nintendo really suck, because that's how I respond to gifts (the console is a birthday present from me to me (thanks me!))
One thing the Wii U has going for it is that it'll definitely be remembered as one of the most obnoxious consoles to setup ever. Almost every stage of the initial set up sequences forces you to do everything through the Wii U controller screen which is a bit of culture shock right out of the gate (more on this later), and before I could really do anything I had to wait for it to download and install huge updates for both the controller and console which took about an hour. Let's not even get into Mii creation and linking it up with my existing Nintendo accounts, I find it slightly concerning that Nintendo's online services seem to have significantly more security than my bank account. Don't ever forget your Nintendo Network ID folks.
I own some games for this thing I guess, but I don't want to talk about those just now. I have played the first three worlds of that Super Mario 3D World and it's pretty cool! But my first couple of hours with an actual Wii U did confirm my own prejudices against the machine, in fact that touchpad controller is really stupid. The only two notable uses in 3D World so far is you can rub the screen to show hidden blocks and coins, and also there was an entire level build around the gimmick of tapping platforms to make them appear and blowing on the microphone to make them move. Goddamnit Nintendo, I waited EIGHT YEARS to play one of your games in 1080p on my television screen, and the first one I get my hands on has levels in it that FORCE me to not look at my television.
Fear of televisions seems to be the running theme within the Wii U. On the big screen most of the menus and applications are at a strange resolution which can only be described as "they fit the screen but not quite lol" almost as a subtle hint in itself that you should not bother with anything that isn't the controller. There's nothing wrong with the resolution on any of the games, so it's kind of bizarre that nothing seems to fit an actual television probably on the console's own interface. It really is just stupid, the two screens thing works on the (3)DS because you can always easily see both or either of the screens, on anything you do involving the Wii U touchpad you have to stop looking at your television. Once again, this home console is encouraging me to ignore my (dad's) 50 inch plasma high definition 1080p television to look at a tiny washed out standard definition screen that I hold in my hands.
Going in to it the thing I was most cynical about was this business of being to continue playing games on the touchpad controller so you wouldn't have to hog the TV or something. This seems such a defeatist attitude; ignoring the fact that the vast majority of households have more than one television these days, it assumes that whoever the gamer in the household is at the bottom rung socially (this is probably true, but it seems weird for an international gaming corporation to want to promote this). Other than for little kids this presentation of this gimmick seems basically pointless until you really stop and think about it:
WAIT.
You mean while I'm working and I get writer's block or something, I can just grab my Wii U controller and knock off a level or two of Super Mario 3D World and then hop back to it? I mean I'm not doing that now, this is just bollocks and I don't get writer's block when I'm just writing bollocks, but Nintendo you have no idea how cool that is to me. I'm finding that taking the time to settle in with a mainstream console game is getting more and more difficult, but having the option to have a handheld bite-sized experience with them? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I liked Bayonetta and all, but other than the combat I found the general level design and story presentation lacking, which made it hard for me to play in long sittings. Being able to play it a couple of combat rooms at a time while I do other things if I'm not in the mood to take time out to sit down in my living room and have long sessions of it? That. Is. AWESOME. My own revelation has doubled my excitement in Bayonetta 2.
Note I said "my own revelation", because none of this has anything to do with Nintendo, and that's why they suck. Three years of their marketing failed to communicate to me what playing Super Mario 3D World hands on told me in half an hour, the Wii U is a gosh darn cool thing under its fluff and own bollocks. Sony tried the portable screen thing too with the Remote Play thing the PSP, but that failed due to expense and lack of support, Nintendo have the tools to make it a big thing just sitting there and they never told anyone. How people are even fully aware that the Wii U still comes with a sensor bar, and many of the new games still support Wiimotes and motion controls etc.? The marketing direction has been completely confused and failed to get across any of the cool things about this machine.
Not that I'm saying the Wii U is a great console or anything, I understand why it doesn't but it is kind of unfortunate that the touchscreen controller doesn't support HD...or that it isn't a particularly good touchscreen. It probably wouldn't happen/be possible but personally I would totally buy a HD version of that controller tomorrow. Just steal the screen from the PlayStation Vita Nintendo, I know where the Sony offices are, I'll help you break in. Just get in there at 2am and steal that, they're not doing anything with it they won't even notice, get a nice screen on that Wii U controller.
It could also use a few more games too, but that goes for the PlayStation 4 and Xbone as well so I don't hold that up as a key reason why the Wii U isn't doing so hot. Nintendo have just failed to communicate the potential of the machine. The Mario Kart 8 free game thing was pretty clever, because before then I was thinking there were about 5 games that I wanted to play (if not necessarily love or possibly even like in some cases) on the machine, and those were Super Mario 3D World, The Legend Of Zelda: WindWaker, Super Smash Bros, Mario Kart 8 and Bayonetta 2. Looking at the list of 10 games available for free with Mario Kart 8, I realised I wouldn't mind owning the vast majority of them, and that maybe the Wii U was finally something worth owning. With the touchscreen controller allowing bite-sized gameplay I probably wouldn't even mind playing through that Sonic: Lost Worlds all the way through...but y'know...with like hour breaks between each stage that is...
No comments:
Post a Comment