LesmoThoughts: Super Mario 3D World

I wish I hadn't been so lazy lately and written more of these so I start this particular piece off with some wanky "full circle" intro about how Super Mario 3D Land was the first game I wrote about in this style. As is, I've only done a few games in between these bad boys so it would just be weird, fortunately I can just opt for an even wankier intro paragraph where I waste 30 seconds of your life explaining how I couldn't do that but would of instead. Right, good, intros done, now we can go straight into the meat of the matter.

For the uninitiated I wrote a thing about Super Mario 3D Land talking about why it's really good and probably the best Mario game Nintendo have done since Super Mario Bros 3, I also wrote a thing about I just got a Wii U and they're pretty cool. With these two things going for it, does this mean that I also really like Super Mario 3D World for the Wii U? Well let's put it this way; I have four games for my Wii U currently, one of them is that brand new Mario Kart 8 that people are excited for, the first game I reached for was Super Mario 3D World and I got straight into it. It's now a day later and I've beaten it, Mario Kart 8 is still trending on Twitter at time of writing and it's still yet to be touched. I've even taken the seal off it to register the code for my free game download so the job of opening it is already half done and still the disc has not left the box, because I was too busy bouncing my way through 3D World. So we'll file the answer to that particular question as "Yes" for now. 

Structurally Super Mario 3D World is pretty similar to 3D Land and retains most of its good points, just to briefly recap those are: perfect level design, perfect celebration of movement and perfect segregation of content into bite-sized fun packages. There are a few differences regarding 3D World however, unfortunately I'll have to duck the hypothetical 9.7 out of 10 (or something) I'd give 3D Land for its level design to like a 9.2 for containing a bunch of gimmicky levels that don't really work, such as the "touchpad platforms" level previously mentioned in the Wii U post. 3D World gets some points back in the movement department however because I really like how they've handled Mario's speed in this one. Finally they came up with a visual way to indicate full speed in the way the P meter and beeps did in Super Mario Bros 3, as now when Mario is fully revved up there's a little speed boost and Mario shoots forward with a different running animation. It's really neat because the worst part of 3D Land was thinking you were at full speed when you weren't and accidentally doing a tiny bunny hop into a pit, which didn't happen to me a single time while playing through Super Mario 3D World.

Just as a side note, I'd like to point out that 3D World also has an option for manual camera controls now. I bring this up because I didn't notice it until I as in World 5, and even then it as by accident and I never actually used them. I can't stress enough how much of a compliment this is, there are almost no 3D games where the camera is legitimately never an issue without you having to master controlling it yourself, these games have to be given insane amounts of credit for that.

I wasn't a fan of those Super Mario Galaxy games, they're neat and everything and I basically respect them, but they weren't what I wanted a 3D Mario game to be. Super Mario 3D Land was a nearly perfect 3D Mario game, and Super Mario 3D World is nearly a perfect Super Mario 3D Land game, but the proximity of the latter is lower to perfection than the proximity of the former, if you get what I'm saying.

In English: Super Mario 3D World is pretty great, almost as great as 3D Land, but it feels like a baby step away from perfection than one towards it. 

There's lots of little reasons for this, many would say it's that 3D World is too short. To be honest; maybe, but I think there's actually more content in 3D World if you discount the fact that 3D Land was padded out by looping the same level designs twice with different gimmicks. Still, it would have been neat if 3D World has done something similar to that as well, I don't mind these games padding themselves out because it's basically guaranteed that I'm going to want to play them more than once so you may as well give me something to work for. It could be that the levels are a little too gimmicky in places, there's no dealbreakers or anything but there's definitely levels in 3D World that I have no intention of ever playing again whereas I would happily run through all of 3D Land any day of the week 

It might also be those gosh darn garbage Captain Toad levels. A lot of people on the internet go on about games "murdering their childhoods", and I have to admit I felt the top of a blade menacing my childhood's jugular when I saw this kind of crap in a Mario game. Basically, you play as a ridiculously slow Toadstool guy, and you walk across an obtuse straight line in a 3D structure, with no fixed camera angles and no ability to jump (although the jump button still works, it's just that it makes your toadstool guy go WAH and a little thrust instead). The ONLY challenge is to steer the camera so you can actually see where you're going, there is only ever one direction you can go unless you want to fall back to the bottom and start again. If you think anything in these levels is a "puzzle" you are genuinely stupid, I mean no offence or anything, thanks for reading, but I would bet any amount of money that there's strange gaps on your walls where you licked the paint off before it dried.

In a nutshell; Super Mario 3D Land took those Galaxy games that I really didn't like that much, and stripped them of all their fluff and just left the delicious Mario gooey centre that I wanted. Super Mario 3D World for the most part is just more of that, but in 1080p with a mostly horrible soundtrack* and some of that fluff put back into it. Just enough fluff to get up your nose and make you sneeze from time to time, but you'll forget about it when it passes. Overall, I had a good time Super Mario 3D World, and I absolutely definitely 100% will go back to it and play it all over again getting all the stars I missed etc., I'd just say that Super Mario 3D Land was a little better. That's all.

Oh and um....the multiplayer...I guess that's cool too but...I don't have any friends.

*Before I get jumped on there's like 5 tracks or so I really like, but overall I don't like the music in this game SORRY 

LesmoThoughts: Wii U

Well, as of today I have joined the world's most discriminated against minority...people who paid money to own a Nintendo Wii U. I don't even know how to defend the decision; there was a price drop at around the time I got a bunch of money, the Mario Kart 8 free game deal was pretty sweet and there's literally nothing I would play on a PlayStation 4 or an Xbone, so I TOOK THE PLUNGE. Now that I've owned a Wii U for a few hours, I want to write a thing about how it's pretty cool but Nintendo really suck, because that's how I respond to gifts (the console is a birthday present from me to me (thanks me!))

One thing the Wii U has going for it is that it'll definitely be remembered as one of the most obnoxious consoles to setup ever. Almost every stage of the initial set up sequences forces you to do everything through the Wii U controller screen which is a bit of culture shock right out of the gate (more on this later), and before I could really do anything I had to wait for it to download and install huge updates for both the controller and console which took about an hour. Let's not even get into Mii creation and linking it up with my existing Nintendo accounts, I find it slightly concerning that Nintendo's online services seem to have significantly more security than my bank account. Don't ever forget your Nintendo Network ID folks.

I own some games for this thing I guess, but I don't want to talk about those just now. I have played the first three worlds of that Super Mario 3D World and it's pretty cool! But my first couple of hours with an actual Wii U did confirm my own prejudices against the machine, in fact that touchpad controller is really stupid. The only two notable uses in 3D World so far is you can rub the screen to show hidden blocks and coins, and also there was an entire level build around the gimmick of tapping platforms to make them appear and blowing on the microphone to make them move. Goddamnit Nintendo, I waited EIGHT YEARS to play one of your games in 1080p on my television screen, and the first one I get my hands on has levels in it that FORCE me to not look at my television.

Fear of televisions seems to be the running theme within the Wii U. On the big screen most of the menus and applications are at a strange resolution which can only be described as "they fit the screen but not quite lol" almost as a subtle hint in itself that you should not bother with anything that isn't the controller. There's nothing wrong with the resolution on any of the games, so it's kind of bizarre that nothing seems to fit an actual television probably on the console's own interface. It really is just stupid, the two screens thing works on the (3)DS because you can always easily see both or either of the screens, on anything you do involving the Wii U touchpad you have to stop looking at your television. Once again, this home console is encouraging me to ignore my (dad's) 50 inch plasma high definition 1080p television to look at a tiny washed out standard definition screen that I hold in my hands.

Going in to it the thing I was most cynical about was this business of being to continue playing games on the touchpad controller so you wouldn't have to hog the TV or something. This seems such a defeatist attitude; ignoring the fact that the vast majority of households have more than one television these days, it assumes that whoever the gamer in the household is at the bottom rung socially (this is probably true, but it seems weird for an international gaming corporation to want to promote this). Other than for little kids this presentation of this gimmick seems basically pointless until you really stop and think about it:

WAIT.

You mean while I'm working and I get writer's block or something, I can just grab my Wii U controller and knock off a level or two of Super Mario 3D World and then hop back to it? I mean I'm not doing that now, this is just bollocks and I don't get writer's block when I'm just writing bollocks, but Nintendo you have no idea how cool that is to me. I'm finding that taking the time to settle in with a mainstream console game is getting more and more difficult, but having the option to have a handheld bite-sized experience with them? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I liked Bayonetta and all, but other than the combat I found the general level design and story presentation lacking, which made it hard for me to play in long sittings. Being able to play it a couple of combat rooms at a time while I do other things if I'm not in the mood to take time out to sit down in my living room and have long sessions of it? That. Is. AWESOME. My own revelation has doubled my excitement in Bayonetta 2.

Note I said "my own revelation", because none of this has anything to do with Nintendo, and that's why they suck. Three years of their marketing failed to communicate to me what playing Super Mario 3D World hands on told me in half an hour, the Wii U is a gosh darn cool thing under its fluff and own bollocks. Sony tried the portable screen thing too with the Remote Play thing the PSP, but that failed due to expense and lack of support, Nintendo have the tools to make it a big thing just sitting there and they never told anyone. How people are even fully aware that the Wii U still comes with a sensor bar, and many of the new games still support Wiimotes and motion controls etc.? The marketing direction has been completely confused and failed to get across any of the cool things about this machine.

Not that I'm saying the Wii U is a great console or anything, I understand why it doesn't but it is kind of unfortunate that the touchscreen controller doesn't support HD...or that it isn't a particularly good touchscreen. It probably wouldn't happen/be possible but personally I would totally buy a HD version of that controller tomorrow. Just steal the screen from the PlayStation Vita Nintendo, I know where the Sony offices are, I'll help you break in. Just get in there at 2am and steal that, they're not doing anything with it they won't even notice, get a nice screen on that Wii U controller.

It could also use a few more games too, but that goes for the PlayStation 4 and Xbone as well so I don't hold that up as a key reason why the Wii U isn't doing so hot. Nintendo have just failed to communicate the potential of the machine. The Mario Kart 8 free game thing was pretty clever, because before then I was thinking there were about 5 games that I wanted to play (if not necessarily love or possibly even like in some cases) on the machine, and those were Super Mario 3D World, The Legend Of Zelda: WindWaker, Super Smash Bros, Mario Kart 8 and Bayonetta 2. Looking at the list of 10 games available for free with Mario Kart 8, I realised I wouldn't mind owning the vast majority of them, and that maybe the Wii U was finally something worth owning. With the touchscreen controller allowing bite-sized gameplay I probably wouldn't even mind playing through that Sonic: Lost Worlds all the way through...but y'know...with like hour breaks between each stage that is...